Tarot Reflections: The Queen of Cups
The Queen of Cups is one of my favorite cards, but she’s a tricky one. Because if to be a Queen means to embody the energy of the suit with mastery, autonomy, and authority then the Queen of Cups is masterful in her emotional inner world.
Let’s take a moment to consider the Cup she is observing. Unlike every other cup in the deck, hers is ornate, elaborate, and decidedly closed. If she is meant to embody the energy of the Cups (emotion, intuition, and sensitivity), then why would her cup be closed? You’d think her cup would be overflowing, like the Ace of Cups.
It’s because The Queen of Cups understands that we can only truly inhabit our own emotional landscape — only we can understand the fullness of our lived and felt experiences.
In this way, The Queen of Cups regards her inner world with a quiet fortitude. Is it really just an ornate cup, or is it the concept of The Holy Grail? For the purposes of this thought exercise, we’ll use the secular definition of: an elusive, highly coveted goal, item, or prize that people strive with great effort to find or attain.
And so what does it mean to embody this treasure? This secret hidden in plain sight? Well, it means that she honors her emotional landscape. She honors her feelings, intuition, and sensitivity as a power that can harm or heal, but nevertheless belongs to her. She extends this wisdom to herself, and as a result can extend this wisdom to others.
Lately I’ve been thinking about grief, and how we tend to bypass our grief to “move on” and get back to business. But The Queen of Cups understands that the emotional landscape has fundamentally changed. That grief never leaves you: it shapes you, and gives meaning to the love you feel. This is how The Queen of Cups can inspire: she is so courageous in her own emotional world, that she gives others permission to do the same. Empathetic, compassion, emotionally intelligent, and present.
Where she gets tricky is that The Queen of Cups can feel compelled to heal others, which is an impossibility. No one can move someone through the tides of their own inner, emotional world. She can certainly be there, on the shore, with a compassionate glance and a depth of understanding, but she cannot do the work for another person. And The Queen of Cups understands this, deeply.
If she loses herself — really, if she abandons herself — she can begin to take on the emotional weight and overwhelm of others. She can begin to feel responsible for the inner tides of another person. She can self-sacrifice, becoming resentful, manipulative, or codependent. She can shut herself down emotionally, or conversely become so weighed down by her emotions that she loses practicality and grounding.
So I’d like whoever’s reading this to consider The Queen of Cups and the concept of her holy grail. Honor your own depth.
And if you’d like a journal prompt to take this assignment further, you can use this one:
What does it feel like to sit at the water’s edge rather than at a safe distance from it? Where in your life are you still standing back from the full depth of your own emotional world?
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Until next time,
Patrick (& Rosie 🐕)
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